


Never Easy

by kyliecb6104



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Idols, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22240999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyliecb6104/pseuds/kyliecb6104
Summary: For Chanyeol, facing his best friend's unrequited love for him is never easy.Just like how it is for Baekhyun. But a hundred times worse.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Kudos: 26





	Never Easy

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short fic I created last 2017 that I decided to post here along with my other short Chanbaek fics. I hope it still works as a good angst. ^^

Chanyeol entered the room with an exasperated sigh. He was about to do something again, and that thing he doesn't like.

He never wanted to feel this in the first place. But it's right here, in front of him. Again.

"I'm going to do a new drama again."

A few meters away from his place, was Baekhyun, who was sitting on his bed, his earphones on and an iPad on his hand. The older seemed like he didn't hear what Chanyeol has said.

Chanyeol walked closer until his knees hit the edge of Baekhyun's bed. "I said I'm doing another drama, Baekhyun." He said, firmly, this time.

Chanyeol was about to hold Baekhyun on his hand when the latter talked, making him stop. "I heard you." Baekhyun said, his eyes still focused on his gadget.

Chanyeol sighed again. Doing this thing was never easy for him ever since it started. He looked down before having hold of Baekhyun's hand, slightly squeezing it. "I was just trying to inform you." He said. "The director said I'll be having another kissing scene with my new leading lady."

Silence.

Baekhyun said nothing with Chanyeol's retort, but they both felt it when the smaller froze for a second after hearing what Chanyeol had said. It was never too easy for him, and never it will be.

Baekhyun started to feel that certain feeling once again. Not the pain, he was too used to that he has become numb already, but the guilt, the shame and the pity for himself. He removed the earphones from his ears, sat properly on his place, and heaved a sigh.

Baekhyun still regrets he had let his bestfriend discover he has special feelings towards him. He feels ashamed of what his heart is telling him, that yes, in the span of six years his heart had never beaten for anyone else but Chanyeol.

And he pities himself because of that. Because he loved too much he forgot to love himself.

And now that Chanyeol is aware of his situation his guilt is consuming him, eating him whole, making him drown with ache. He never liked this to happen.

He never wanted Chanyeol to carry his burden as well, to watch out his deeds and move away from whoever it is that might just become the reason for Baekhyun's pain.

Baekhyun slowly pulled his hand away from Chanyeol's grip. "I never asked you to tell me everything you do, Chanyeol." He said while looking at the latter. Chanyeol just looked at him as well, and Baekhyun hates it because he could clearly see that reaction on the taller's face.

It was like, Baekhyun is hurting so much and Chanyeol thinks he was the reason. That he is the reason. And he doesn't want that.

"But I just.. I just want you to know, just in case." Chanyeol replied, still not removing his eyes away from Baekhyun.

And that was when Baekhyun frowned hard. He looked away, avoiding the giant's eyes. "Just in case what?" He bit his lower lip for a second, trying to stop himself from breaking down. "Just in case I get hurt because of that? Again?"

Chanyeol sat to level his face from the other. He held Baekhyun's hand once again and squeezed it, this time harder. He wanted to make sure he comfort Baekhyun, his bestfriend, because again and again, they were bestfriends.

He heard Baekhyun talk, who was still looking down on the other side. "I already told you you didn't have to do all these. Because you have nothing to do about it." He breathed. "It was all me."

But Chanyeol has a different story.

"It was because of me."

And Baekhyun is not agreeing with that story of Chanyeol. "No." This time, Baekhyun forced himself to look at the taller. "The moment this heart of mine chose you, it was clear that it was my fault. So it's just right I take the blame."

"But, Baek... I, I don't--"

Chanyeol was stuttering. He doesn't know what to reason out anymore. All he know was he wanted to protect Baekhyun. Yes, even from himself. And so that was why he started doing these kinds of things, informing Baekhyun of anything that just might hurt him, distancing himself to any girl in all their music shows, concerts and appearances, and everything else. He did everything he thought he could just so he wouldn't hurt Baekhyun.

And that all started when he discovered Baekhyun is in love with him.

"You won't ever love me back, anyway." Baekhyun suddenly said. It made the both of them surprised. Even Baekhyun, he himself flinched at what he just said. But it was the truth. "You won't, so it would be better if you would just let me be." He continued.

Baekhyun gathered all his strength, both physical and emotional, to fully face Chanyeol and remove the taller's grip on his hand. "If you don't feel the same thing for me, just leave me alone." And though it hurts, he smiled. "I don't want you limiting yourself just because you're stuck with me and I'm in love with you. It's not as if you don't have a choice."

Baekhyun continued on speaking, his voice firmer. "Not because I love you, it already means you have to love me back. I am really fine with myself. And I'm serious about that." He gulped, then, clearing away that sudden lump on his throat. Doing that was painful, but it cannot be compared to what his heart was feeling. "It was my fucking heart that chose you, and I tried to stop it but I failed. And now, you don't have to do anything about it because it was my loss."

But Chanyeol couldn't still absorb it all. He really treasured his friend. Baekhyun was everything that Chanyeol has during their trainee days, he and his dreams. Together, they built their dreams and reached it as well. And now, it was hard because it's not the same anymore.

It is never the same.

"But I miss you." Chanyeol confessed, his eyes becoming watery. He doesn't care, though. He never felt ashamed of crying in front of Baekhyun. And it was the only thing he wanted to do right now. To cry. To show the smaller it was not too easy for him, too. "I miss the old times, Baek. I miss the way we were before."

"That was before." Baekhyun bounced back immediately. He really wanted to end the day with Chanyeol understanding what it is between them now. And it was nothing, absolutely nothing like before. "That was before, and this is now. If I could just unlove you, Park Chanyeol, and be your bestfriend again. I'll definitely do it. But even if I do unlove you I don't know if we could return to what we were." Baekhyun breathed, but it came out a sob. And there, he realized he was already tearing up. "I'm sorry I ruined everything we had. But I can't do anything about it. And so do you."

Baekhyun stood up, and with that he looked back at Chanyeol, who was shedding tears. For him. "I am still EXO's Baekhyun, though. Your bandmate. Your roommate." He palmed his tears away and smiled. "That is what I can only offer, Park Chanyeol-ssi."

Chanyeol was confused by Baekhyun's sudden formality, as if they were seeing each other for the first time. But then he thought that maybe, just maybe, Baekhyun wanted a new beginning. Like, they were strangers and somehow wanting to be friends.

So Chanyeol stood up like he did and faced Baekhyun. And, even though he knew the smaller was faking a smile, he grabbed his hand when Baekhyun offered him a handshake.

He grabbed it, not to shake it but to pull Baekhyun for a hug.

Baekhyun was surprised, but since it was Chanyeol, he just let it be. They were not the same anymore, yes, but in this new beginning he was hoping maybe they could just be mere acquaintances. Or friends, which is a little bit closer than that. But nothing more.

"Thank you, Chanyeol." He muttered. Baekhyun closed his eyes on their hug, thinking that maybe, because he broke their relationship as bestfriends and they're nothing more than friends right now, it could be the last time he can hug Chanyeol like this. This tight and this warm.

"I miss you, Baekhyun." Chanyeol replied, and it took most of Baekhyun's strength to avoid himself from getting his hopes high. "I miss Baekkie and I hope he find someone else he can love and who will love him back. I hope he find himself again."

True. Chanyeol could now understand Baekhyun's side, but he was still not giving up that they will be back the same way again. Unlike Baekhyun, he still has his hopes high that they will be like before.. someday. Baekhyun just sighed, nodding his head.

Even though his heart tells the opposite.

Because he doesn't think he could ever love anyone else besides Chanyeol.

And if so, how could he go back to the taller, as his Baekkie?

He couldn't. He knows he couldn't.

\--


End file.
